I’m going to share 11 reasons why salads make me poop. You must know this because nowadays I eat salads for lunch more often than not, and it would be great if they didn’t make me poop.
Here are some things I found out about salads from my research: -Salads can be healthy or unhealthy depending on what ingredients you put in them
-If the dressing is made with oil, then your salad will most likely make you poop -The vegetables in your salad can also cause it to make you poop.
11 Reasons Why Salads Make Me Poop
1. Because every salad I eat is made with iceberg lettuce – which, to me, tastes like wet paper. Yum! Wet paper! Would you please pass the ranch dressing?
2. As much as I would love to get my five servings of fruits and veggies in, chewing through 14 cups of spinach overwhelms me. Sorry fiber, we’re going to have to break up.
3. I’m not a rabbit. Like Sam-I-Am, I like meat and potatoes, and if it’s green, I probably don’t want it (unless we’re talking about pistachios; I’ll take those over a chocolate cake any day of the week.)
4. No beans for this Mexican food lover. I refuse to go near anything related to red or green peppers. Or onions, unless they’re cooked so long, they pretty much lose all their nutritional benefits – but then again.
5. Like most people, there are only so many times I can eat grilled chicken before it makes me want to cry (and not in a good way.) There must be some other stuff on the salad bar that will make life worth living!
6. The dressing. Oh God, the dressing. The horror of drowning my lettuce in cheap ranch makes me want to weep… and no amount of extra cheese is going to help this time.
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7. I don’t care if it’s got Vitamin C – fruit makes my butt hurt so bad, I can barely sit at my desk for five minutes without having to take a severe break …
8. OK, this one’s not the salad’s fault, strictly speaking, but still! When your stomach starts acting up after that third helping of mixed greens, you know something isn’t right. Time to take control of the situation before things get too crazy…
9. The last thing you want when you’re showing is for some random salad to come in and clear the runway—works every time, people – best not to take any chances.
10. Yeah, well, I used to think it was because he was just a perfect shot. Then I realized, no – it’s because if you let more than three or four salads near your baby at once, they will attack like that group of Nazis with axes. They’ll never talk their way out of it this time!
11. I don’t care how good the salad tastes; when you’re trying to impress someone, it’s best to stick with the food they can’t argue with – like steak. With a side of steak. For dinner.
Eating salads have been a major part of my diet for the past few weeks. I have noticed that when I eat salads, I poop more often than usual and sometimes in different places.
This is not something new to people who are aware of what happens after eating vegetables, but this blog post will explain why you should think twice about having a salad for lunch if you don’t want your bathroom time disrupted later on!